Candice - Date Unknown

She died in my arms.

It’s something I’ll never forget.

They used to say no one should ever outlive a child, but that’s a lie.

When we lose them, even to things less horrible than this, the pain is so immense and overbearing, it becomes a constant reminder to never let it happen again.  The sick part about it is the way the feeling starts to fade with every body we find left in this wake. 

How it slowly becomes “normal”.

That was the moment I realised things had really changed. 

When she died in my arms, and I felt nothing left for the spoil of a child. 

I knew right then, that there was no going back from this.

That the world truly became a different place and nothing about it was going to change anytime soon.

That is when the suicides started, when entire camps would fall to the ground, and like all their hopes, they’d drown in the mud and wait for decays sweet sick breath to take them away.  So much has been lost, and until now, the plan was to earn it all back, down to the last drop. 

What we lost though, was something inside of ourselves, something we can never have back.

Our search to fill our hearts with some kind of purpose is as pointless as the death of the girl that died in my arms.  The mistake we’ve made is looking for a point in this, some reason, an excuse to go on.